I have already written About Me in my About Me box,,, ha. What are some random funny quotes for my general box?
Funny & silly quotes -
“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.” - Ashleigh Brilliant
“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.” - Mae West
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time” - Friedrich Nietzsche
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” - Oscar Wilde
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.” - Rodney Dangerfield
“The Jersey mentality is: I work, I drink, I stay up all night, I try to meet a girl, it's a waste of time.” - Gerard Way
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” - Drew Carey
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.” - Oscar Wilde
“I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.” - Oscar Wilde
“One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.” - Oscar Wilde
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.” - Oscar Wilde
Besides, you'll get thousands of funny quotes here -
Here are the sources -
Quotesdaddy.com/quote/59255/ashleigh" that you have 15 you enter for any question that goes to vote. Shameful!
--RetroRay
All of these quotes are from Groucho Marx, perhaps one of the wittiest people who ever lived………..just my opinion though.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
I worked my funny cute quotesway up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Military intelligence is a contradiction ifunny cute quotesn terms.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
As you go thru life
Whatever be your goal
Keep you eye upon the donut
And not upon the hole
love sucks
hilarious isnt it
cest la vie
What about we're a little crazy but that's how we roll. haha i like it !
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