Back in March I discovered that my boyfriend was talking to an ex-friend of mine that is married for about an hour a day and texting all the time. It started as a friend thing just talking about each others problems at home, and just chatting. But then it starting becoming something more. Of coarse I discovered it and he told me that it had stopped. I had a really hard time forgiving him but we discovered what had gone wrong with our relationship, fixed it, and moved on. We were both extremely happy with this new passion we had for each other then for me to find out that he has still been talking to her this whole time! He begged for my forgiveness and manned up to what he did wrong. He told me to ask him any questions I had so of coarse I wanted to know why he was still talking to her. He said that she is going though a bunch of family problems right now and needed someone to talk to and he was just too nice of a guy to tell her to stop calling. He told me they had thoughts the first time of maybe having an affair and never acting on it but the second time he just felt sorry for her. It was nothing more then a friendship. But they talked for 1000 minutes in one month! I took a week to think about everything and decided that I love this man more then anything in the world despite everything that has happened I want to try and make it work because I don't want regrets when I look back at my life. I want to know that I tried everything I could before we decided to end the relationship because we have been together for 7 years. He has been doing everything right. He answered all of my questions I had, letting me have access to his phone records, cut off all communication with her, and basically kissing AV儿劣. There is nothing else I could ask him to do to make me feel any better. But I just don't know the steps to take to make this all better. I know emotional affair men passionit's gonna take time but I don't even want him to kiss me right now. All I can think about is weather or not I'm gonna ever be able to trust him again. I really want to be able to because I know we can be happy together. He is everything I want in a man minus all this. What should I do?
If he's just offering emotional support to this woman, what is so wrong with that? They never had an affair of whatever, so as long as that doesn't happen I don't think you should do anything drastic.
If you love him and everything, I wouldn't let a little thing like a few phone calls get in the way of your happiness together.
Hope this helped. :)
I agree with Angie N
LEAVE HIM. I promise there is something not good about the situation, i can feel it. If he has been doing "everything right" then why are you here? Because he is doing you wrong.
It was nothing but just emotional indulgence ..... he answered all ur questions & u've complete access to his phones n he has cut off all communication with her ... wat else u expect him to do??? if u wanna save ur relationship then u've to let it go.... forget wat happened... u know wat u want then why r u not moving on???
Emotional or physical affairs are really the same thing and something very hard to get over. I want to tell you that I have been in a married for 20 years and the relationship for 22 years and there was an affair. I don't want to lie to you I want to tell you that it was hard very hard to work thru, and the reason it was so hard is because we both had to face why it had happened in the first place, theaffairr is really just a consequence of something else. I am not talking about the people with no morals that just go around sleeping with everyone but someone who is really committed to their marriage and something like this happens.
I really know that it is totally fixable and allows you toemotional affair men passion be totally totally honest because what else is there to loose and when faced with those odds it allows us to open up to the person totally and express and expose ourselves in a way we have never donbeforere. Our relationship is in a much better place that what it was before, after many hours of talking, crying, screaming, etc etc etc. But the end goal was that we were not going to give up on what we had and we absolutely determined to make it work.
Regaining the trust is probably the hardest thing to do after an affair. Some feel that it's even impossible. I disagree, because I have succeded in that and there are ways that it can be achieved, it just takes some work. This is an article about how to regain trust, maybe it could help you as a first step...
My husband did the same thing and I forgave him many times. After the last time (which was 8 months ago), I took a month and went to stay with family. I told him I needed time to myself and I needed to figure out what to do with all these leftover emotions I had... The separation did wonders for both of us. We never broke up but he needed to realize what he was losing if he continued with his ex and I needed to focus on myself for a while in order to heal. I started seeing a therapist to help me work thru the issues and even though I had some really insecure and emotional days, my husband was there, encouraging and supporting me thru it all. He changed a lot while I was gone and I really encourage you to do something similar. Doesn't have to be for a month. Maybe a few days or a week would work for you, but he needs to make some major changes and PROVE to you that he's for real this time and isn't just telling you what you want to hear. Be cautious but be loving and have faith that he can change. GL
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